above image© The Estate of Francis Bacon, all rights reserved, and DACS, 2008

My artistic life is very much an internal one. It’s centered in how I feel, how I want to express myself: how I want to paint the picture of my observations, the lessons I’ve learned, the struggles I’ve had. At least this is true for the writing part of my life- this record “TRUE” was written after this fashion- living a full everyday life and then bringing that experience home to write about it.

The experience, those feelings, are infolded into the craft- built into the songs, and hopefully listeners can feel the arc of my experience, my meaning, my feelings, when the song is heard.

It’s interesting to me that this seems to be the only way anything elegant is made- by a distinct awareness of one’s own thoughts and feelings- and a single minded effort to brings those meanings to hand:

‘self-expression’.

Earlier in my life, I spent a good deal of time trying to attract attention, trying to make an opportunity, trying to show what I had not fully developed. I didn’t reach those I’d hoped to reach, I had made no permanent impression, because I had yet to fully impress myself. I had yet to go to the depths of my own art and stay there.

How could my work attract it’s other half- YOU, if I hadn’t built a fire with it? How could you know? How would you find me amongst all the others?
If I am trying to be heard before my work is done- then I don’t have much to offer, do I? My work isn’t finished.

So, I’ll offer this as a lesson learned: if you want to be heard-in ANY endeavor- turn INWARD and master your effort. Become willing to be alone and grow your desire into a full fledged bonfire. First turn IN, and then out, and things will happen in the proper sequence.

There will be no premature exposure, as I experienced, no dropping the ball, as I experienced- because everything will have been done in its proper order. I was unprepared as a young artist-
I had so much to learn about self mastery- still learning this- but I see it in so many great artists that I learn from.

But if you wonder what’s next ’cause nothing’s happening— turn your back to the outside.

TURN IN.
Love you.
C

The winter cold, Like a blade
Cut his hope, His strength away

By himself, With an engine mind
Spun him out, From day to night

Got a poet’s touch, He’s a loyal friend
but prone to browns and blacks and shuttin himself in
¬
Without a woman, He got a paper heart
Weather comes and trouble starts.

They weren’t a fit, she had pretty hair
Southern charm, and a fashion flair

she waited round, and that filled him up
A summer love, he’s like a pup

His rovin eye, would pick at him
Left her alone he’s out for love again

Without a woman he’s got a paper heart.
Weather comes, and trouble starts.

Cold it cuts, he’s cavin’ in-
He tries to work, the snow is in
The wax and wane, desire unfed
Kills the favor, cuts the thread

Got pangs for love, without requite
a wind between the door blows out the light

Without a woman, got a paper heart
Weather comes trouble starts.

That’s the way I feel.  Like I bit into the ripe, juicy center.  Like Los Angeles sun where there is supposed to be a cold winter.  Like a long drink of water, that’s the way I feel.

Me and Josh Grange and Mitch Marine just finished rehearsing for our first show together here in LA, and it sounds like I just got home- like I just walked out into the sun, like I just scratched the itch of a lifetime.

I feel like my imaginations just got a waking life- like I grew up and got an A on a test.

These dudes can play.  Not play all over and show off play.  Not shred all over everything play.  Not take everything over play.  They LISTEN and play.  They hear- they respond, they move, they give, they share.

It’s easy.  And it’s like Christmas.

I’m headed through the center of a ripe fruit.  Wait til you hear the whole record. Watered, and ripened in the sun.  Lucky me- I get to share it. And I get to play it tomorrow night for the first time.  With grown-ups on stage with me.

All sticky fingers and smiles.

Love you.

C

I think about when I can play, when will I be able to do this or that…  and what I usually do is plan it out- plan when I can plan…which isn’t working.

But you know- why not get the gig now?

Why not do the liner notes now?

Why not make another call NOW?

That’s how to get stuff done-

just

don’t

wait.

If I am busy, I ain’t thinkin’ about how tired I am- I am making a better life for myself full of things I love to do all day and all night.

Maybe then I’ll take time to worry about having too much good stuff to do and maybe  I’ll hire an assistant ($$) to help me do more good stuff- like play gigs in the UK…or tour Europe or open for somebody great.

Or maybe I’ll just do that right NOW without an assistant-

be great now-

be productive now

love you better now

be courageous now

‘Cause really, isn’t that the difference between potential and actual?  Just WORK?

Maybe I’ll sleep where I drop-

and my girl can throw a blanket over me.

Love you.

Let me hear from you.

So we took a vacation- ten days of much needed rest and relaxation up to Seattle for Christmas, and then:

-out to the Olympic Peninsula to stay at a beautiful inn on the Hood Canal.

We ate and drank-

Then slept,

Then drank coffee,

And ate and drank,

And slept.

And I slowly recharged.

I hadn’t had vacation in years- and this year has been the busiest of my life.  It felt good to slow down.

And as I did, I realized just how much I love music, and playing, and writing- and how much more of them I want to do.

Music means making oneself known to whoever is listening.  And I’ve done that- in the lyrics of my songs, over and over.

But  there is more- there is you.    I’m a bit shy I think, and songs are such an easy way for me to express myself- But I also want to hear from you,

What you like, what you think, who you are-

I want this to be about  you and I.  A couple of you have already given me so much- you know who you are…

And it would feel AMAZING to find some more like minded folks to know.  Not just for you to buy my stuff-

But so we can know each other.

It feels good to know each other.

So, you- maybe you’ll share a bit about you. Include a thought or two-  whatever you been listening to-

Happy New Year…there’s more to learn.

Love- C

Rain rain rain Ache of a dull refrain

Awake in  an ancient pain He surviving in

On a striving ride Up to a mountain glide

Up to the shine shine shine He insiprin in

Working Jim with his Hopes and his heart and his sins…

On an empty boat Search for an oar to row

Up from the deep he broke A Long and starless night

Now the test he tries Grows like a tree inside

Crowding out delusions cries He imaginin

Working Jim  with his hope and his heart and his sins

another  way to contemplate

a song for you, a place to make

for me, for you- I’ll stay up late

dissolve the day and

could I have another take to rest and place

myself in front of you and satiate

my eldest hope,  from a deepest place

to deliver me-

to the sprouting field of my identity,

a singing slate-

my sun- my words- my hands, my verse,

to crumple days of dirt and hate and push and stake

that press my guts into an ache

for joy’s sake, for joy’s sake

to save us from our slumber’s  fate-